On Communism

While in Croatia recently I drank this:



I was excited because Rick Steves (who's a douchebag) told me that Cockta was the Yugoslav alternative to Coca-Cola, which was not available to the Commies, & that The People affectionately referred to the state-approved soft drink as "Cockta-Cockta." While finally feeling those saccharine, teeth-browning dribbles of Cockta cross my lips, I thought of this man:



Jon Bon Jovi. While riding the steel horse of Cockta -- in a pure, New Jersey Socialist fervor -- I thought I might puke. But I didn't. I am, after all, a cowboy.